If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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