OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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