part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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