I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
do nipples grow back?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
