If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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