What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
