She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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