I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
