Me too!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
