I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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