I wish I could punch you in the face.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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