Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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