Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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