Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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