then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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