How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
