And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
