like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
