drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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