They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
