garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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