yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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