By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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