Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
