you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
