It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
