My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
