Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she smelled like a LAN party
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
