I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize