Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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