I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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