I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
