rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
