I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
