I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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