Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
