Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize