I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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