She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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