Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
