i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
