she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
