Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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