ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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