I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize