The maid of honor just puked.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
