There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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