I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
