i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
