Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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