Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize