i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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