dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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