...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
