your room smells of hookers.
And success
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
