One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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