Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize