dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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