Umm I'm too high to move.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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