Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
